I Struck Gold

*I've been giving a lot of thought to this post, as I really wanted to convey my true feelings about the subject. I sincerely hope that I can do it justice.


Six months ago, I went on a date. I distinctly remember the feeling I had when I came in the door at the end of the night, smile plastered to my face, drifting to the computer to update my status. "He took me for a burger...and it was the best date I've been on in months." Its' happenstance was completely a fluke. I was trying to diversify my dating pool and decided to give it a shot - what was the worst that could happen? I couldn't have known then just how very amazing that guy could make my life.

So now it's been six months. (Save a very, very unhealthy relationship from my past) This is the longest I've been with the same guy who lives in the same county as me. I struck gold. And.I'm.so.very.happy.


I've been very discreet in the cyberworld about my relationship with a certain Mister Bowen, somehow thinking I might jinx it, or let too much out of the bag too soon, but being that it's Mister Bowen's birthday today, I wanted to let everyone know just how incredible he is...and how happy he makes me...and how much I love him!

Jimmy gives me the freedom to be my independent self while allowing me to fall comfortably into that vulnerable place where it's obvious that I need him. He has also allowed me to express that silly, often embarrassing side of myself without the fear of judgment - and happily embraced his own silly side as well!

He is happy to let me run my life but quick to offer advice when I need it. He has been able to find that delicate balance between overbearing and uncaring - perfection. He carefully crafts his own decisions around what he thinks would make me happiest and I have never loved being so accommodated more!


He has endured numerous meals at restaurants he really doesn't care for, movies he would rather have never seen, and evenings spent at my work events taking pictures or picking up trash. His quiet support is priceless and he always does it with a smile on his face. He is an amazing cook, making me dinner often, and clearly seems to enjoy the process of making a meal.


Jimmy truly cherishes my company and is always able to erase every insecurity I allow myself to feel. If I were to name one flaw, it would be that he cares about me too much. He treats me like a queen and constantly helps me realize how special I am, both to him and to others.

When my car was broken into in September, after only having dated for one month, Jimmy quietly cleaned the glass out of my car while I began the process of canceling every card in my purse. He made sure that I would feel comfortable driving in it, even after I felt so violated. He truly has a gift for making me feel safe.


I know that my few words are just a small expression of the way I feel, but that doesn't discount their sincerity. Jimmy, I love you and I am anxious to see just what is in store for us down the road! I am grateful for who you are, and who I am when we are together! I hope you have the happiest of days today, and I can't wait to share many more with you!

Quit Playing Games With My Heart

I was driving home from the gym tonight, scanning the radio waves and stumbled upon a true classic. I was launched back to 1996, the year the Backstreet Boys debut album was released:

• I was only 13 years old
• I was in 8th grade at American Fork Junior High
• I had braces on my teeth
• I thrived on riding my bike to Smith's to buy cheap nail polish, Bonne Bell, colored mascara, and Lee press-on nails.
• I was best friends with Kim Hansen - we bonded in band, she on the flute, I on the clarinet.
  
• I had a crush on Sean Johnson - his place in my youthful crushes was sealed when Mr. Dickerson wanted he and I to get in "the crawl box" together (as the two smallest pupils in 7th grade science)
  
• We had The Box (which was forbidden to watch, until my dad discovered that during the month of October Michael Jackson's Thriller could be requested - at that moment, the ban was lifted for a short time. Interestingly enough, the ban was again lifted for BSB's As Long As You Love Me as well). When this particular music video was released, it ended up on the air non-stop. It was during this time that I fell in love with Nick Carter - how can you NOT love him (and even the other four) sloshing around in the water?!
• YouTube is retarded and won't let me embed video here, but if you want a reminder of how awesome Quit Playing Games With My Heart really was, click here.
  

...life was so much simpler then.

Peggy is a Whore

I tried to think of some kind of profound thought to bring up this Valentine's Day, but it all ended up sounding bitter. I thought Peggy and Viola would suffice tonight.

It's been awhile since I was "a Peggy." In fact, I think it dates back to my days in kindergarten back at Nieman Elementary School in Kansas. I was a clean slate - my heart had never been broken, and there was nothing but green grass and beautiful sunny horizons. My outlook on love was one of immense potential. I had my eye on several boys, but only one really reciprocated (though I tried my hand with most of them anyway). His name was Brian Pepperdine, and, according to my mom, after my first day of school I came out to the car declaring that I was in love. I'm sure at that time, my mom knew she would have her hands full.

I don't have many vivid V-day memories. In fact, there have been very few years when I have actually been part of a "we" on February 14th. Beside the year I got a rock put on my finger (only later to give it back), I think one of my favorite V-day memories was a few years back.

I was working at Winger's in Lehi. Not my favorite job, but it paid the bills. I was lamenting the fact that I had to work on Valentine's Day, unable to make the mighty trek to Logan to be with my "boyfriend." The restaurant was slow, so Brittany and I had plans to hang out and do a girl's night. She was texting me throughout the night keeping very careful tabs on how busy I was and when I would be off. It was a little obsessive, but I figured it was because we were going to meet up after. I left work and met her at Chili's, where she had a change of clothes for me (another strange occurrence). I went in the bathroom to change, and went back out to sit with her and there he was - my long distance fellow. She had been in negotiations with him all day getting him to come to my neck of the woods for a Valentine's dinner. I was excited and quite touched that she would go to such great lengths to arrange it.

Since that year, there haven't been many ups or downs (mainly because I haven't allowed myself to let anyone else in), just existing in a nice switzerland of neutrality. It's probably not the ideal, but it's my existence, and as John Mayer put it, "I'm perfectly lonely." I'll save "being Peggy" for another year.

Lightning could strike

I saw the movie Meet Joe Black when I was a sophomore in high school. I fell in love with the movie immediately. It was later on in college that I fell in love with the content. I began compiling a book with magazine ads and photos that depicted "love." To compliment the photos, I began scouring the web, lyrics, movies, and books for quotes about love. To this day, this passage from Meet Joe Black still holds a certain significance in my life. I imagine this is what it will be like...

I want you to get swept away.
I want you to levitate.
I want you to sing with rapture and dance like a dervish.
Be deliriously happy - or at least leave yourself open to be.
Love is passion...
Obsession.
Someone you can't live without.
If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with?
Fall head over heels.
I say find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back.
And how do you find him?
Forget your head and listen to your heart...I'm not hearing any heart.
Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back.
Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this...
To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all.
You have to try.
Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived.
Stay open - who knows...
Lightning could strike.

Drive My Car

This weekend I said goodbye to the only car I have ever owned.

I bought the Priz when I was 17. It was a flash decision, born of lucky circumstance and necessity: I totaled my parents' minivan in the high school parking lot and had no choice. I needed a car, and I needed it fast. Before we found the Priz, Paul and I had to ride the bus - for a grand total of one week. Needless to say, it was one of the longest weeks of our lives - and one I vividly remember...hating.

My mom and I had discussed a price range, and I knew I didn't want to pay more than $200 a month, but soon realized that cars in that arena were few and far between. I test drove a Saturn with a stick shift - not very well, I might add. We were back at the dealership in no time. I had no preferenct in make, model, or color, but instinctively knew I wanted it to have a sunroof, power windows and locks, and a CD player. Sadly, I soon learned that these bells and whistles didn't generally come on a $5,000 car.

I settled on the Priz, paying $6,500+interest. I very quickly learned that taxes on a purchase that large added up quickly, and that interest was a b****. It was love at first sight - and very luckily so, because my patience with riding the bus was wearing thin.

I.loved.that.car.

Since I bought it at the height of my high school career, and drove it all through college and 3 years post-graduation (a grand total of 9 years), the memories associated with driving in it are innumerable. Some of the top would include:

2000: Being reprimanded by Mrs. Belliston in the HS parking lot for parking in faculty parking (she was trying to give me an opportunity to be an example to Paul, but instead I took the opportunity to give her lip, and ended up getting chewed out in her class, and promptly passing out).

2001: Packing EVERYTHING I own into the trunk and backseat to make the mighty move to Ephraim for my freshman year in college. Thank goodness for a fully furnished apartment.

2002: Driving to Las Vegas with Snow College roommates and learning firsthand that when the oil light turns on, you should probably check it out.

2003: Driving to Los Angeles with Haley - no destination in mind, just the two of us and the road. We ended up in LA, two naive, sheltered Utah girls, and at the temple because we knew nothing bad would happen to us there.

2004: Fighting with the starter EVERY TIME I TURNED THE KEY. Thank goodness for Uncle Dave who saved me in the WalMart parking lot and escorted me to the repair shop! Oh yeah - and this was the year I PAID OFF the Priz.

2005: Started a long distance relationship with a guy in Logan - began commuting from Provo to Logan nearly every weekend (sometimes not even leaving Provo until close to midnight).

2006: Graduated from college and moved to Salt Lake City to begin life as an "adult." AND, in my first "real adult" scenario, I had to pay to have the transmission rebuilt - to the tune of $2,000 (ouch!).


2007: Took the Priz for an impromptu trip to Las Vegas with Nick for In-n-Out. We ended up walking the strip until the wee small hours, and landed in the Bellagio parking lot to sleep for a few hours - to this day, we're lucky to be alive (and still friends, for that matter).

2008: Started working for JDRF and realized again the Priz's massive capacity for cargo. The best example of this is cramming 13 boxes of Frito Lay inside and driving to Logan with my knees against the steering wheel...again, lucky to be alive.


2009: Realizing that 3-years post-graduation is high time to buy a new car. The final "long" trip in the Priz was to Idaho Falls to kick off the Walk. What a great last run. I decided on a 2009 Subaru Impreza Wagon - very practical for work, and nice and zippy. And I finally got my sunroof, power windows and locks (and even more important, NOW, an auxillary cable for the iPod).


Side by side, there's no contest. I am so grateful to have the Imprez (tried to figure out a parallel nickname). I hope Brad is equally as grateful that Doug and Lynnae were kind enough to buy the Priz for him...he really lucked out. Its got a nice long life ahead - and he better treat her well!